The Duke of Earl
This potent, yet inherently redundant regency had its humble roots in the clever title of Gene Chandler's eponymous hit song of 1962, from which the aforementioned rhythm and blues artist consequently adopted the eventual title and the fiefdoms that came with it. The Duke still resides in his mighty vassal state of Chicago, from where he makes annual sojourns to the lesser lands of Las Vegas and Atlantic City to promote his vocal trade. When prompted for an edict regarding this year's presidential election, the Duke dismissed any subsequent results stemming from such as "illegitimate" and "unbefitting of his style."
L Tetris Block, the Tetris Block and 2007 GameFAQs Character Contest Winner
The undeniable scourge of inexperienced Tetris players and prepubescent Final Fantasy fanboys everywhere will jar a monkey wrench — or an inopportune tetris block — in any presidential candidate's well-laid plans. Nothing else can derail any stout gameplan, except for. . .
Brady Quinn, which roughly translates to "He who throws fifty feet above wide receiver" in Sioux
As you can see, beneath those gynormous lats and big-game shortcomings is an incredibly hidden soft side.
Political analysts don't think that too many closeted gay men who aren't already Republican Congressmen will support Senator John McCain's polarizing candidacy. Then again, they never thought that the presidency would come down to a first-term junior Senator and a man who can't raise his arms above his shoulders, either.
Bruce Banner, the flaccid, reserved alter ego of the Hulk
Bruce Banner loses almost every vestige of humanity during his almost subconscious transformation into society's ever-present, impulsive, towering anti-hero — much in the same way that Joe Wurzelbacher exposed himself as an obvious Republican operative during his lackluster attempt to pass for an independent concerned over Barack Obama's fiscal policies. QFT, bitch. Now go back to jerking off to Anne Coulter's adams apple.
William Pitt, the First Earl of Chatham, also contemporarily known as "Pitt the Elder"
Among other things during his lengthy tenure, Pitt the Elder's superb conduct of the Seven Years' War effectively lessened French power through the seizure of Canada and a shrewd alliance with Frederick the Great. Given his vast, world-changing accomplishments, it stands to reason that neither Senator Obama nor Senator McCain and his legion of politically-motivated unskilled workers would have been fit to shine this British Prime Minister's boots — or brush the dead lints from his equally scrupulous colonial wig.
Byron, the Second Lieutenant
Fortunately, you can't spell woefully unprepared without "WOE!"
Joe the Plumber is neither qualified nor licensed to plumb anything. And he's also an asshole. By contrast, Byron is someone who, presumably, has been trained to do whatever he's been trained to do...or so we, in our collective naivety, have been led to believe. This is a man who, like the two who are pitted in this gutsy contest, swore to protect to constitution, to which I have no doubt all three will do to the fullest extent of their respective, arm-raising capabilities. Unfortunately, therein Byron's capability lies the problem. When prompted for his thoughts regarding this year's contest, he really didn't know.
In spite of some of his glaring weaknesses, Byron's candor is a breath of fresh air in an environment dominated by nefarious political operatives.
And finally, Haleth, the son of Hama
The altruistic heir to the doorward of Rohan was among a handful of precocious adolescents who perished during their nation's admirable yet half-hearted defense of Helm's Deep. There exists no adequate way of gauging how he would've felt about the American presidential election, but it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway; he would've been too young to vote.
