Everything sucks except for when compared to Fallout 3

Honestly, I can't think of a better game I've played this year. Grand Theft Auto IV was pretty good, but something was missing; Warhammer Online got boring and repetitive after awhile (there were too many good players like Kardek and Illidar on Sylvania Server, whose eliteness is unsurprising when you consider their meticulous, stalwart dedication towards their other weekend activities); and, quite honestly, I played Fable II expecting this:

Instead, I ended up with this:

Fable II, there were some things I liked about you and others that I didn't, but let's just be friends. Ok?

By contrast, Fallout 3 lives up to its gynormous expectations and then some. The first parts of the game are a fairly cinematic cocktease until everything erupts in one gynormous, perpetual orgasm in a post-apocalyptic future, littering your midsection and shaming your conscience while you kill people, oversized cockroaches, super mutants, and everything in between. There are few things in life that can lay claim to being better than this. On second thought, there aren't. There are several times that honestly shit myself while playing this game, and for the life of me, I don't think too many games can lay claim to inducing such a gooey reaction. Think of Fallout as the burrito and the residual hours of fun as its gooey byproduct. Think of Fallout as the burrito and the residual hours of fun as its gooey byproduct.

Anyway, for anyone else who wants to lose a pair of underwear, one way or the other, I recommend getting Fallout 3 immediately. I mean, right now.

Just go.