I don't expect much from any 13-year-old who takes some random person she met on the internet seriously — given that she presumably wouldn't have been on the internet if her mother actually considered her delicate medical condition and knew what the hell she was doing in the first place, an act which I believe used to be called parenting — but at least she saved everyone the trouble of finding her belly up in the bathtub after being told that her favorite band sucked. Yeah, I may have pretentiously wallowed in the cascading chorus of my abject self-pity and abundance of Doritos after someone verbally murdered my Survivor tribute video on YouTube, but I eventually dealt with it (and the five pounds to boot). At the very least, I'd advise anyone in a similar position not to slit their wrists when they're told to clean their room; I'd rather have my civil liberties. (Or, at the very least, an awesome montage in which Dave Bickler's vocals fuel my efforts to get them back.)
That being said, if Tina Meier were truly sincere, then perhaps she'd address whatever inflicted the smoldering corpse that used to be her narcissistic daughter than launch some self-righteous crusade against something as vague and mundane as internet bullying. First off, no one can be jailed for writing anything obnoxious. Depending on how thick your skin is, "internet bullying" can technically be anything — at least anything in the regard that it can be ignored without the indirect consequence of arbitrarily penalizing everyone else. Otherwise, we'd have to jail everyone simply because some selfish dumbass with a tiara lacked cognitive fortitude. It only follows that both humanity and the fashion police benefit when people like this rid themselves of the genepool.
Alas, I am so incensed over this grievous constitutional infringement that I think I'll commit suicide just to prove a point. Details forthcoming.
